What you give yourself makes all the difference

It’s so easy to invest in other people. So easy to give ourselves to an exciting volunteer project, to our children’s school, to help a friend in need, to show up at a special relative’s celebration, or to work late on a project for someone else.

It’s so easy to give and give and give until we’re all out of energy, all out of inspiration, all out of any time left for ourselves.

But are we really serving our loved ones, friends, and family by giving so much?

I believe wholeheartedly in giving of ourselves… I believe it is truly what makes the world a better place, knowing there is always someone around the corner who cares so much to share their heart, share their time, share their energy.

But often we have trouble with boundaries.

We have trouble saying no, and we forget that with all the giving we are doing, that the number one person we need to give to is ourselves.

We push so far that we begin to run on empty. At the end of the day we’re exhausted. At the beginning of the day we’re starting behind schedule and never catching up all day. We push our dreams to the side and hope that one day we can have time to do the things that fulfill us.

I’ve been there

Just a couple of years ago, I was like many women – donating countless hours to volunteer work at my kid’s school, burning the candle at both ends to manage infant and toddler care along with working long hours and house care, enjoying the life I’d created but doing nothing extra to feed my soul…

I wasn’t investing in myself at all, and it had begun to take it’s toll. It was my husband who woke me up to make me realize that I needed to focus more on me, to be the best version of myself.

A few things I changed in order to invest in myself first:

• I gave myself permission to make less money for the short term, to pursue work I was more passionate about
• I’d been saying for years how I wanted to go to more conferences to expand my business. So I went to a conference
• I started getting up 30 minutes earlier each day, to journal and read the news
• Through my journaling and reflection, I rediscovered my passion to paint, do yoga, and exercise regularly
• I knew I needed some time away to tap into my creativity, and went on an international retreat for a week

An amazing thing has happened when I invested in myself. My relationship with my husband, after being married 12 years, is as good as it was when we first were married. My kids have learned to take care of so much by themselves. Instead of taking my kids from one commitment or social event to another, they are in the art room with me, asking if we can paint together. I’ve switched out my volunteer commitments to work I was simply good at, to interacting with the kids at the school teaching circuitry and leading teams doing STEM challenges – enjoying the new interactive quality of volunteering. I’m connecting with new friends, dancing during the week, taking courses in areas of interest, and sharing my passion for life with others.

What would investing in YOU first look like?

Investing in yourself doesn’t have to mean spending a lot of money on things that aren’t realistic. It means putting your needs and desire for growth and creative fulfillment first. Often times, this comes down to priorities. If you are struggling with where you can find time or money for things for you, here are a few ideas.

Investing in yourself could mean:

• Investing in a new piece of clothing for you instead of something for your children
• Investing in a tool, material or class for a passion project instead of a child’s birthday present
• Taking the kids on a hike to get the family outdoors
• Waking up early to journal before your kids wake up
• Taking an evening or weekend away to pursue learning something new that interests you
• Going on a retreat
• Doing exercise at lunch
• Getting a massage

Your turn – how could you better invest in yourself this spring?

I invite you to join the Passion & Purpose writing challenge, where we’re diving in deep with thought-provoking questions about what makes you excited to be alive, and how you can be better at self-care.