End of School Year Here We Come

I’m picking up the last bit of chaos left over from the rush out the door for the school day. Underneath a sweatshirt is Aubrey’s spelling workbook. I quickly look outside – car is still there – and bring it out, “Do you need this?” I ask her. “Yes, thank you mom,” she says. Phew. Disaster averted, I think, as my husband pulls out and takes them to school. I mentally run through the checklists, again, of all the items my kids needed to take with them for their talent show performances, assignments due and oral report today. It’s Friday morning, and we’ve just had a full week of school and activities. So much so, that while I now can turn to my work – it’s an important day for business as I’m launching an important client’s new website – I can’t focus on my business. I’m thinking about how accomplished it feels right now, sending off all three kids successfully after such a busy week of schoolwork and commitments. They did it!

Rylan

Rylan has had such an overwhelming amount of pressure on him, finalizing his state report. It’s something that is so much harder for him, than his peers. Writing has been his nemesis since first grade. When I heard about this year’s assignment being a multi-page thoroughly researched and written report, I knew this school year, was at some point, going to be very tough. As parents, we waver between letting him do things, on his own, and face the consequences of the possibility of complete failure, and being able to prop him up and support him to learn how to be better able to independently complete similar tasks in the future – coaching him along to give him just as much as he needs to learn and grow, and no more. Then, when it becomes crunch time, we really just want them to succeed, so bad, it can get really hard to find the right line between these strategies. The last 5 weeks, or so, on an almost daily basis, I’ve been sitting side-by-side as Rylan works on this report. He loses focus quickly, distracts himself, and, when actively working, has such perfectionism with his writing, that he produces only about 3-4 sentences per hour. It’s been painful to say the least. His report is due on Tuesday. I’ve just been desperately hoping he can keep his attitude up enough to make it through this last crunch week. It’s not just the report due, but his teacher (unkindly, if you ask me) also set the last day for his biography book oral report today, and his quarterly P.E. homework assignment and biography speech are due next Wednesday. When Rylan gets overwhelmed, he just shuts down. As his mom, I feel like i can help him most through this by planning out a reasonable amount of work each day and managing his stressors (cancelling piano practice, making sure we aren’t running around too much even with numerous talent show commitments this week) as much as possible.

 Aubrey

Meanwhile, Aubrey has had her own set of commitments. She’s in a total of four performances this month — a class play, a 2nd grade play, a gymnastics show, and the school talent show. On top of that, tomorrow is her birthday. There’s definitely been a lot of excitement, but also a lot of pressure on her. I’ve been secretly expecting her to explode at some point. Yesterday, when I picked her up from her talent show dress rehearsal, she was sitting up on the stage, pouting, and the show coordinator was trying to find out what was wrong. I thought, oh no, here it is. But she recovered, and when I asked a friend later about it, it turned out the spotlight was shining directly in her eyes. She didn’t realize it didn’t have to, so didn’t want to complain or say anything about it, but it was not making her happy. Luckily another parent noticed what the problem was and the spotlight was turned off. <<MORE>> Aubrey is showing herself to be a very strong, independent and fiercely creative individual, through this last month of commitments. She wants to be involved in decisions around all the details of her costume and routine for her talent show act, as well as in her party planning. Her and Rylan are similar in their desire for attention to detail and refusal for outright help – the difference is, Rylan wants to put in a high level of detail in his work, but he gets overwhelmed with the repercussions of this high level of commitment. Whereas Aubrey continues to take it in stride and just move forward with what’s in front of her. Not once have I seen her get overwhelmed. When I watch her, before going on stage for her talent show performance, I can see she is thinking through the routine, but I don’t see any stress.

Sierra

Sierra has had a nice, easy paced last few weeks of Kindergarten. There’s been a few extra notes and requests from the school – I volunteered in her class yesterday to help them make a mural, for example – but nothing is really overwhelming for her right now. Thank goodness. She caught a cold and had quite a bit of trouble sleeping last night, but that’s all fine compared to all that’s going on with the other kids! She’s got 3 birthday parties she’s attending in the next week, stays on top of her homework without a problem, and is very self-sufficient. For her, it’s just being there – like the volunteering in her class, like having her dad watch her sing in front of the school today, that’s important. The other day I sat down next to her and asked her to play the piano for me, which she enjoyed. She is often being told that we all have other things to do – between the homework assignments, my work, dad’s new job, and Aubrey having friends over, so for her, it’s snuggling a bit extra in the evenings and giving her some needed attention that’s important.

Mom

All of this has me SO absorbed with keeping up with the kid’s needs and schedules, it’s really hard to think much about the time in between being a mom, in which I’m running my business. Even when I am at my desk and have time to work, my mind is racing through lists of things I need to do, that I’m afraid I’ll forget, or that I need to make sure I create some time and space for. This is a crucial time to make sure I get everything OUT of my head and onto paper. A crucial time for systems – not to forget unusual pickups and out-of-routine arrangements. And, I have to admit, it’s hard! I am constantly amazed, myself, that I ran a 6-figure business while my kids were age 5 and under. But, I’m learning, this month, that it really can get just as hard, in different ways, as the kids get older and their needs are different.