How easy change can be when you aren’t ruled by fear

You know, sometimes you build up this big story of how things are, or are supposed to be, or why you are held back from something. Change seems like such a big deal. A problem seems insurmountable.

Have you ever done this?

And then suddenly, you realize, you were the only one keeping yourself from overcoming it.

This morning I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

For 10 years I’ve known I needed to get my wisdom teeth out. You wouldn’t believe the number of conversations I’ve had with my dentist – each time I go in. I was sure I needed to be completely sedated, partially sedated, or heavily drugged. When I was younger, I would get nearly faint when I had to give blood for a test. So I knew something like getting wisdom teeth pulled was a big deal and I was going to have trouble with it. I thought of all the times I had had dental work done, and how squirmish I had gotten.

At first I’d decided to wait because I was pregnant or nursing. And when that was no longer an excuse, it was a matter of dental insurance. I didn’t want to pay out of pocket to go to an oral surgeon.

I was told that I didn’t need to get it done right away, so I just kept waiting and putting it off.

Meanwhile, I’ve been realizing that I don’t have to keep letting my fears keep me from doing things. I’ve been learning so much about what I’m capable of, and becoming much stronger through the process.

So, about a month ago, when I visited the dentist, he said it’s about time.

And something amazing happened. I heard myself say, “ok.” And when we talked about whether I needed to go to an oral surgeon, I said, “no, I’m fine, we can do it here.” He said it would just be local numbing, but he could also give me a heavy drug. I said, “I’ll be fine.” And I knew I would be.

I was suddenly ok with doing something that had previously scared me. The fear of having my teeth pulled and it being too uncomfortable had been one I’d been avoiding for a decade. Yet, suddenly, I was no longer needing to avoid it.

In 20 minutes, the entire procedure was done.

I was in awe of how quickly something I had been fearing for so many years was over.

What was I so scared of?

Why was I letting it hold me back so long?

How many things are just like this? We agonize and agonize over them, but with a very quick change – they are no longer an issue?

Why do we let old stories of what we can’t do keep us from moving forward?

I am realizing just how little has to hold us back. We create so many of our own obstacles.