A look at past accomplishments and strengths can help quiet your inner critic

This morning I am writing based on an exercise in “This Year I Will” by M.J. Ryan – see page 61 for anyone who has the book. There, the author advises to “Select 4-6 accomplishments [ and write them out ]. Look over and write down strengths and skills you used repeatedly to create success. These are your competencies, the personal qualities you can apply to any goal.”

I do not mean to be tooting my own horn, in fact you can skip down to the competencies section if you like. But for me, this is helpful to use as a reference, which is the intention of the exercise.

My 4-6 accomplishments I chose:

1. Sold house, planned successful surprise birthday party for my dad, and moved out all within an 8 week period – while pregnant and with a 1 year old and 4 year old.
2. Balanced grad school, an internship and 40 hours/week consulting to put myself through school; did an amazing professional report that the school used for years thereafter as an example.
3. Pulled off taking a summer in Costa Rica for 5 weeks with the whole family
4. Two years as PTO President, helping support or lead efforts to raise over $250k during these years; and pulling off 2 new succesful fundraisers in the last 30 days
5. Raising 3 kids, at one point all 5 and under,while running my business and with Tim travelling frequently. 5b) I also have helped support the family and allowed Tim to take business risks which required working long hours at times, even when my kids were very young.
6. Worked at a tech startup to help build out their initial product; built an invaluable professional network and stuck with a commitment that paid off with stock options.

My competencies that led me to accomplish these things, which I can apply to new challenges and goals:

1. Persistence: I believe in my goal and continue on in the face of doubt and uncertainty (1,3,4)
2. Ability to take on multiple and competing goals: I can take on a heavy load and carry them all out – and successfully – when most would say it can’t be done (1,2,4,5)
3. Positive attitude: I don’t think I felt negative or pessimistic during the periods leading up to any of these goals.
4. Belief in my own path: I didn’t follow the path most would take; I wanted something different and went for it (1,2,3,5b)
5. Willing to take risks: When I have a goal, I am willing to take significant risks to achieve that goal (1,3,4)
6. Energy from creative expression: I am more energized toward my goal when I can give something my all, even if I must stay up late or give up other things. I am most energized by not cutting corners and being able to fully express my creativity towards a project (1,2,3)

After writing this, it may seem hard to believe, from the outside, that I should ever have self-doubt. Look at all I’ve done, right? And that’s exactly what the exercise is designed for. Because we all have self-doubt and failures, and we tend to focus on them when pursuing new goals – I know I have been. But looking through what I am good at, it helps give me energy and belief towards my new goals. This exercise really did help me see that I can do what I set my heart and mind to!

 

It’s time to quiet the inner critic. I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes that I need to heed advice from:

“Those who say something can’t be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it.” 

In this case, I need to stop being my own critic – I can not be the one telling myself that something can’t be done. Instead, I must be the one showing myself that my inner critic needs to get out of the way because here I am doing it.